Category: Topics

General

Turn Off That Computer, And Stay Away From My Cell!

How many hours a day do you spend online?  Actually, let me rephrase that question.  Do you spend enough time with family?  A Newsweek poll revealed that 73 percent of teens wants to spend more time with their parents, and families who watch little television find more time spending with one another in engaging and interactive activities*.  Cranium, anyone?  (as long as it’s not the Canadian version).

Apparently treating Internet Addiction Disorder is not as easy as it seems.  Check out this quote from a Forbes article written in the future (5/9/05):

Turning off the monitor won’t do the trick, say doctors like David Greenfield, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Connecticut School of Medicine.  Greenfield worries that junkies are finding new ways to score a fix from their cell phones and Treos.

Before you descend to the state where you need to tap on the microwave digits to numb the pain, start turning off that computer periodically and spend that time with your family!

*”Teenagers want more…family time?” Christian Science Monitor 5/2/00

General

Bren plays it safe, and he’s out!

The board room in this week’s Apprentice was silly.  Imagine the boxing match Tyson vs. Peewee and you’ll get an idea what the board room was like.  One punch knockout. Come on, Bren, don’t pull a Samson and confess your hair as your weakness!  “Gee, I can’t take risks and I like to dig my own grave.”  I can only conclude that Bren seriously suffered from sleep deprivation and pulled a Verna, who simply gave up during week 2.

I think it’s pretty obvious who will win the Apprentice by now.  Kendra isn’t a team player.  Craig can’t communicate.  Alex is just flat.  That leaves us with Tana, who is mild tempered yet brings a whole lot of smartness to the table.  Tana will become the next apprentice by a mile, unless Trump tries to hire someone else just for the irony.  If so, it puts the public view of Trump’s judgment in jeopardy.  Besides, it’s about time for a female apprentice.

Remember Andy, the kid from Harvard in season two?  One of my coworkers actually roomed with Andy, and he said that the kid is smart but pretty lazy.  Well, a few weeks ago, he got his break when Trump decided to hire him.  He now reports directly for Trump and is doing real work, which is more than we can say about Bill Rancic.  Word has it that his job is a sham.

General

Type A Personality?

So I snooped around xanga and dusted the dust off an old entry on Carol’s blog.  It was titled “Do You Have A Type A Personality?”.  I answered the questions, and … (drum roll)…

You Have A Type A Personality
A You are hyper, energetic, and always on the mood You tend to succeed at everything you attempt And if you don’t succeed at first, you quickly climb your way to the top! You could be called a workaholic, but you also make time for fun As long as it’s high energy and competitive, you’re interested You have the perfect personality for business and atheltic success

I question the accuracy of this test, however, seeing that they can’t even spell “athletic” correctly.  🙄

General

Anwar Falls Short, Vonzell Comes A Long Way!

In the latest round of American Idol elimination, Anwar bites the dust. The event was quite emotional, as my significant other shed a tear to his departure from the show, then proceeds to chew me out for causing this “fiasco”.  Apparently I didn’t cast enough votes for her “Anwar” Tuesday night–that I only casted, oh, 250 votes for Anwar (that’s 6 seconds per vote lasting about 25 minutes), not counting the dual-hand cell phone dialing action prior to that.  Then she vows never to watch American Idol again. Oh that’ll be the day!

Moving forward, I urge all of you to vote for Vonzell.  Sure, I used to be a Carrie supporter, but lately her performances have been quite insipid, especially all her moves–all one of them, the wiggling of her heinies.

There are four must-have qualities for the next American Idol: Star Appearance, Vocal Quality, Stage Presence, and Audience Appeal.  Scott and Anthony are eliminated for vocal quality, and Bo Bice for appeal.  That leaves us with Vonzelle, Carrie, and Constantine.  All the screen time for Constantine has catapulted him beyond what he deserves, as all the crazed voters, who can’t distinguish between on-key and off-pitch, call for Constantine just because of the sentimental influence of the garage scene.  That leaves Carrie and Vonzelle.  Carrie has that Star appearance and definitely the vocal fidelity, but possessing just one and only one move just kills me.  On the other hand, Vonzelle’s got it all.  Her vocal range exceeds Whitney Huston, her appearance is… acceptable, but her choreography is impeccable!  Have you witnessed the hundreds of moves she busts out on the stage?  She’s a natural performer, and she has definitely grown on me throughout this competition.

Vonzell for the next American Idol!

Tech

Napster to the Dumpster

As a worship leader, I constantly scout new songs to introduce to the congregation, but to introduce a song, I need memorize the song forwards, backwards and upside down. What about songs absent from my pitiful CD collection? I came across Napster, which offers $9.99 unlimited streaming for free. Sounds good, right?

Wrong.

Literally, it doesn’t sound good. The music volume seems to oscillate sporadically, drawing you in the music one minute and dropping you cold the next. The quality is far inferior to CD, lacking in the deepness and precision of the bass, but no surprises here considering the compression that needs to take place. In addition, some of the songs I wanted to listen to contained a “buy only” button, requiring a purchase to get beyond the pathetic 30 second clip that leaves you hanging. Worst of all, at the end of the year, you would have paid all this money and end up owning nada. The minute you stop subscribing, you have zilch.

The bottomline is, for $120 a year, you’re better off treating yourself to real CDs. Not only do they sound better, but you can feel that you really own the songs.

Sports

Fantasy Baseball 101

There’s a fad today on Fantasy sports. Everywhere you look it’s Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Basketball, Fantasy Foosball, Fantasy Earthworm Hunt, etc. A few weeks ago, my friend Tim extended an invitation to join their league, and like a vegetarian lion eyeing a piece of fresh meat, I decided to give in. If you are a Fantasy virgin, let’s take your through my first experience.

First, there’s the draft, where all the managers simultaneously meet online and grind through a couple hours of player selection. Being ninth in the drafting lineup, naturally I missed out on getting Pujols or A-Rod. You have 90 seconds make your wise selection, and one time my time expired so I ended up with Yahoo’s pick of Carl Crawford. I was pulling my hair out for a while there, but he turned out to be a good pick.

Next, you need to manage your players, and this is not for the light-hearted because you need to manage everyday. Mistakingly I postponed viewing the result until the end of the first day, and to my dismay, two of my starters, Schilling and Escobar, went on the disabled list before the season started. On the bench was Jamie Moyer, who got a win for Seattle that I couldn’t cash in on. Mistakes learned.

As I began descending in the ranks, the low point being second to last place, I’ve learned that you need to examine your lineup daily. People can go on the DL or be benched, and when they don’t play, you don’t make. I’ve also learned that baseball players are very streaky, so when it rains, it pours. Some of my players have sub-.200 average even though they were top-ranked last year. I added the player Edgardo Alfonzo from the free agents list and he was quite a pickup. He added a big boost to my offensive arsenal.

I’ve learned that you need to look at the opponents and get an assessment of whether you want them to play to maximize your chances. If they’re playing against Roger Clemens, they’re probably not going to score 6 HR’s.

Then there’s paying tithe to the service provider. The league I play in is hosted on Yahoo, and without StatTracker, it’s like driving blindfolded. I give props to Yahoo for this devious strategy of offering the stats to you free for a few weeks, then taking it away. Once you have a taste of quality steak, there’s no going back. I justified this by convincing myself that I’ll be tracking this everyday for the next 6 months, and what’s $9.99 compared to the time I’ve saved?

So now I’ve moved my team from the gutter (second to last place) to the 3rd place out of 11 teams. I’ve been doing well lately, but who knows… I saw Big Stix Alpha, my bro-in-law, descend from glory (#2) to gutter (#10) within a week, which I suppose is similar to real baseball. The manager can only do their best putting the lineup together, and then it’s up to the players to get the job done.

Home

Mutant Nail Clipper

Today while I shopped at a classy store for the budget-minded, a store named Target, I came across an interesting artifact that resides in every household:  the nail clipper.  There are two types of nail clippers in this world, the ones built with a guard that keeps all the nail fragments nicely deflected within the casing, and the ones without, allowing fragments of your nail to traject into bowls of cereal, in between fibers you walk on known as the carpet, and into cracks where the missing quarters and socks resides.  While 98% of the owners of this technology use the latter, I noticed a particular package hanging on the shelf of Target not only built with a guard, but taking it one step further–it was enhanced with soft, ergonomic grip for those of you who have butter fingers.

Being a technologically saavy dude who gravitates toward the cutting edge, literally speaking, I felt obligated to offer a contribution to the company that cleverly pushed the envelope of nail-trimming technology.  So I ecstatically took it home, unpackaged it, only to find…

A design flaw.

I suspect they invented this item at some obscure lab in Area 51, because apparently they decided that human evolution* has reached the next stage and that the toe nail has mutated into reverse curvature.  In the image above, one can see that while the clipper for the finger nail (left) has an inward curve, the toe nail clipper (right) is complete opposite.  Unfortunately this presents an unnecessary challenge for those of us posession toe nails of normal curvature.  There is already a casualty from this offensive design.  A dear acquintance of mine, who shall remain anonymous, has unfortunately utilized this tool and involuntarily reshaped her toe nail into an unpresentable, hideous form.  The only mitigating factor is that toe nail “will be back”.  It was like trying to shape a graham cracker perfectly round by taking bites out of it.

Clearly I will be rescinding my contribution to this company tomorrow, but I have just two words to anyone with enough insanity to consider adding this deceptive nail accessory to their bathroom collection: Stay away.

*disclaimer: The author of this article does not believe or condone the theory of evolution. Any references to such term is strictly for illustrative purposes only.